This story is about an 8 year old boy called Kwan who has behaviour issues and school and often gets into trouble for hitting other students. If he is accidentally pushed, he will push or hit back. If something happens that he doesn't like, he will react the same. Despite teachers trying to help him to understand that this is not appropriate behaviour, Kwan finally understands that he he wants to be accepted and have positive relationships with the other students he must keep his hands off others, and treat them with kindness and respect.

Hands Off

Kwan looking angry with his hands clenched in a schoolyard

In a far and distant land, there lived two boys Kwan and James. They were both students at the Aberdeen School For Boys. Kwan loved sports and anything that involved running and letting off steam. James, was more artistic and loved to sit, draw and paints. The boys were good friends, despite their differences, however, regular conflicts occurred between the boys which caused a lot of tension, anger and upset.
Kwan was quick to lose his temper, and would lash out at James, punching, kicking and nipping. He ofter hurt James and would never say sorry.



The Troublemaker

James looking hurt and surprised after being pushed, with a school playground in the background

One day during recess, Kwan accidentally bumped into James. James had acidentally dropped his pencil case and his colour pencils went rolling away from him in the playground. 
Kwan, who was trying to score a goal was chasing the soccer ball at great speed and didn't slow down when he saw James on the floor picking up his pencils. He was desperate to beat the opposition so he did not have time to stop to help his friend.
Instead, Kwan ran straight towards James, and trod on his hand and he saw the goal post straight ahead.
"OWWWWWWW" James screeched, but Kwan didn't stop.

The Incident

Kwan sitting in the principal's office, looking thoughtful as the principal talks to him

As a result of his actions, Kwan was sent to the principal's office, Mr. Collins. Mr. Collins asked Kwan to explain what happened, and he did so in great detail explaining that he just had to score a goal and so he did not have time to stop and help James.
Mr. Collins thought carefully. "Hmmm...Kwan I have a question for you, have you ever been hurt by someone else?" "Yes, many times," replied Kwan. 
"And how did you feel when this happened?" continued Mr. Collins. 
"Well I was really upset and I cried because it hurt" replied Kwan. 
"And did the person apologise and show sadness because THEY hurt YOU?"
"Yes, they said sorry", said Kwan "and then the pain hurt a little bit less.
"Hmm...ok, so how might James feel if you said sorry to him?"
"Maybe he will feel less sad?" asked Kwan.
"Well, let's try it shall we?" said Mr. Collins in an upbeat voice.

The Consequences

Kwan sitting alone on a bench, reflecting on his actions with a thoughtful expression

Reflecting on what the principal said, Kwan began to understand that his behaviour was not acceptable. He had been hurt by others many times, but that didn't make him feel good for going around and causing hurt to others. 

Especially his best friend, James. Kwan realised that he needed to accept responsibility for his actions.  If he did not start to do so, maybe he would have no friends to play with. This made Kwan feel like a big black hole just opened up in his tummy and he suddenly felt cold and sick.
Who would be play with? Who would he talk to? Who would he tell jokes to? Who would help him with his learning when he needed it?

The Realization

Kwan apologizing to James, who is smiling, in the schoolyard

The next day at school, Kwan found James sitting along at recess. He looked sad. Kwan ran as fast as a bullet train to see his friend.
"Hey James, wanna play?" Kwan excitedly asked.
"Promise to be gentle with me?" replied James.
"Of course I do!" bounded Kwan with the biggest, brightest smile. 

They boys enjoyed gently playing together. They took turns at running races and timed how fast each other cou
d run. Kwan even congratulated James when he ran faster than Kwan.


The Apology

Kwan playing happily with other children, showing a smile and open body language

Over time, Kwan's behaviour improved. He learned to control his temper and express his feelings in a positive way. His friends and teachers taught him how to apply mindful breathing which he began to use whenever he could feel angry emotions getting activated. Kwan also learned about emotional regulation, which helped him understand himself better. He developed better self-awareness about his triggers, the things that made him angry. He also learned other calming techniques to help him feel more calm when he started to get angry or upset.

 The other students noticed the change in Kwan and began to include him in their games. "Hey Kwan, come join us" they would often call to him. 

The Transformation

Kwan surrounded by friends, laughing and enjoying their company in the schoolyard

As the months went by, people forgot the way Kwan used to be, because instead they saw a boy who had struggled with his anger and emotions, but through lots of practise and awareness, and who had learned to overcome this. They saw a boy who had kindness in his heart and a smile on his face. They saw a boy who valued friendship, over pleasing himself.

Kwan decided that he wanted to take action and help other students change the way he did. He went to Mr. Collins and suggested that he be a playground  prefect, meaning he would assist students who were having conflict in the playground and help them overcome their squabbles.

The Happy Ending

Kwan smiling broadly, surrounded by a friendly group, with the school in the background

And so, this is the story of Kwan, who wants to share his message with you.

'Dear reader,
If you are reading this. Thank you! I want you to know that you are powerful. You have the power to make good choices, or not. If you choose not to, you will feel sadness and emptiness. However, if you choose to be good, kind and keep you hands off others, your life will change for the better. Try it and see for yourself!'

Treating others with kindness and respect is the key to forming positive relationships and being accepted by 
others. 

From that day on, Kwan lived happily ever after and he hopes you will too!